Saturday, January 23, 2010

Finding Time

Where did my time go? It must be around here somewhere... I swear I just had it!

Maybe it's on my desk.

Hmmm... wallet, dirty dishes, bills and overdue car registration. I start moving the clutter and unearth a sketchbook and some lonely pens. Sorry guys, I'll be back with you as soon as I find my time! The notebook which once housed my thoughts peeks out from under a pile of books I've been meaning to...

The phone rings.

I glance at the caller ID and see it's my mom. Sorry mom, I'm trying to find my time right now! The machine answers and I listen...

"Hi honey, guess my busy boy is out enjoying the day. Gimme a call when you can, it's been... allllmost a month now..."

The guilt hits me. Not even Judas Iscariot would ignore a call from his mother! It's okay, it's okay though! I'll call her back as soon as I find my time! It's here somewhere!

Okay... who had it last? My girlfriend. I love being with her, but if she takes my time without asking one more god-damned...!

Okay... calm down.... deep breath...

I walk outside and into the backyard. The sun and trees help me think.

Maybe I left my time with a friend. Nah... not likely. I try to hang out with each of them once a week, but often fail miserably. And I don't even have that many! Maybe I need less friends. Less people to give my time. Less people to disappoint.

I sigh and look at the clouds.

Maybe I need to live in the forest. Far away from this society and it's endless mental trash. Far away from this culture and it's entertaining sedatives.

I could live alone surrounded by pines, just me and my little cabin. Then I could take my time and lock it in a little chest and hide it underneath the floorboards. I'd walk the mountain side during the day, and chop wood, and grow vegetables, and talk to my goats and to myself and then at night I would come inside and make a little meal and drink a little wine, and when the forest became dark and frightening, I would lock the doors and the shut the blinds and remove the floorboards and unlock the chest and then it would be just me with my time, all to myself, forever.

Wait, wait, I know! I left my time at work! It's okay though, I have to be there in 20 minutes.

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